Soapy Saturday…the Pre-Cuba Edition

I’ve written several blogs in my head but haven’t been able to get these going for some reason, but I’m hoping this starts the flow back up. However, I do have some things to get off my chest real quick before I roll into this vacay….

1. There are a lot of new “friends” on my FB recently…which it’s nice to always meet new people. But here’s the disclaimer, I’m pretty easy going, generous, straight forward, and I’m always down for a good time. I’m also, the witty, blunt, problem solving, part time thug who will shut you down the minute you cross my boundaries of bullshit. You’ve been warned.

2. If you sit and complain about how miserable your life is bc of everything else “happening to you”, you just suck at life and need to rewrite your next chapter. Meanwhile…you’ve been cut off. I don’t need that kind of negativity.

3. PS the worst thing a woman can do is not have her shit together.

4.Always journal…when you feel like no one’s listening, write it down until someone will. PS God’s always up for listening.

5. Does it bother anyone else when you’re smarter than most of the room? I know that should probably make me feel good…but I just feel disappointed.

6. Just so we’re clear, if your kids are bad ass, ungrateful, disrespectful kids, I’m looking at your ass….not at your kids.

7. This is the first trip I’ve taken and not ‘planned’. I’m excited for the new adventure, which I know will try me and inspire me.

8. The boys in the hood are always hard, you come talking the trash, we’ll pull your card. Knowin nothing in life but to be legit…Oh, break time, just seeing if you’re still here 😎😂

9. Listen, I don’t legit own “porchtime”, but I own porchtime, you feel me? I’ve literally been all over the world spreading porchtime cheer for decades (which is no easy feat), so I’m pretty sure I started the revolution across the globe. If you’ve used the word porchtime, chances are you know me or know someone who knows me. Anyone who tries to copyright my shiz, see number 1.

10. There’s no cell plan I’m trying to be a part of while in Cuba, so in George’s best bwahahahahha voice, he gets me all to himself this week he says. I think unplugging will be fabulous for us this week.

11. How is it that I’m so out of the loop on kid toys? Apparently I purchased a couple hard to find girl toys right now, according to the mom guarding the display waiting for her friend to grab as many as her little fingers could carry. Meanwhile, what the hell are these LOL Surprise Glitter Series dolls in balls? *Shrugging shoulders* Saige? Anyone? Whelp, I now have two that I’m sure will brighten some faces this holiday season.

12. We are going to meets G’s grandfather for the first time and I cannot wait for that. Three generations of Isla men over 40…dude. My goal this trip is to get as much of the family’s lineage documented while in Cuba…and also have google translate on deck at all times.

13. FYI…Don’t ever wake up to Live PD playing on the tv in the middle of the night…that shit ain’t right lol.

14. The headlines about #metoo referencing ‘women being sexually harassed or assaulted’….this is not news to women. Women have been putting up with overbearing and inferior bs from men since birth. We can handle some serious shit. Applause to those who are speaking up and are brave enough to know their worth. It takes a real asshole to make a person feel unsafe and powerless.

15. I may not have had a hand in planning the trip details, but I have legit plans for my Canon and Cuba. Been cooking up a photo series idea for this week’s adventures! Hoping it all aligns with what’s in my head!!

16. If I’ve been a loyal direct sales customer of yours (as I am to many), and you fail to treat me as such…I will jump ship on your ass! How are you going to not only take as much money from me as you possibly can on a regular basis, but the friends I refer as well…and then not tell me about a free shipping promo until the day after I already place a huge order? I see you and my referrals do too…peace out ✌🏽.

17. I saw a lady who is “prominent” in the community and has never had to work a day in her life apparently…so why did she look like Tales from the Crypt? I need answers. Maybe stay out of the sun, or get some collagen, I don’t know. There’s just no excuse for any of that. She scared the shit out me when I first saw her.

18. I’m so grateful to be taking our first real vacation since retirement and having my mom around to come stay with our kids. I haven’t had this as a real option in 20 years. Thanks Ma.

Ok today is day one of the #IslaCubaAdventure. Bon Voyage Blog peeps….catch you on the flip side.

Xoxo,

Di

Soapy Saturday

http://tech-success.net/solutions/soap-box-tech-success.html

I’m on my soapbox again…disclaimer!  I rant because I can and because it helps me not entertain the overly outspoken, brash, ‘ain’t trying to hear it’ truth to certain people that wouldn’t get it anyway.  You ever tell someone things they needed to hear (and asked to hear) when it backfired because they were too much of a moron to get it?  I have…I’ve learned that choosing to disengage from the madness is more mature and funnier to watch.  That way I can blog about those topics later.  On with it already…

1. Don’t wait too long to figure out if you want to go from blonde back to dark hair…the in-between is a wretched look for your noggin!

2. Stop being a whiny, overly dramatic person who doesn’t know how to move past irrelevant issues.  Because then, you just become irrelevant yourself.

3. If you see an episode of Hoarders and are motivated to clean out some clutter, you aren’t actually a hoarder (whew), you are just in need of a bigger casa!

4. F@&# iPhone for taking away Google Maps.  Shaaaaaame…..

5. You may have all the freedom to buy expensive cars, and go on extended vacations wherever  you like because you have no kids/family, but you are doing it without the joy of sharing your experience with anyone that truly gives a $hit!  (FYI your ‘best friend’ doesn’t count, they give a $hit only until someone else shows them a better time). P.S. Your car won’t be be able to decide whether to pull you off life support…(cuddle that one cutie).

6. You look silly faking a good time with someone you clearly don’t like.

7. When you tell your husband “leaving your shoes lying around drives me crazy”…this brings on slight guilt when you walk in with a 60lb window for ‘craft’ purposes and leave it in his man cave.

8. I do not understand why a computer information systems class is making me write a full blown paper…did I sign up for “Write Your Feelings on How Computers Work” class?  What a bum deal…

9. I just bought an old Carpenter’s cd and it immediately brought me back to my childhood.  Why couldn’t she just eat…sigh?  What a sad waste of long term talent right there…

10. Politics can bring out the worst in people…so much so that those who claim love & peace are dishing nothing but angst & hate towards fellow mankind.  Get it together…and be blessed for the life you have been given rather than shaming someone else’s.

11. ‘Buying’ seasons of network TV (aka free TV) on Apple TV is frustrating…I get it, I own them now, but some things just don’t deserve watching again and again.  Hmmm, I really gotta figure out a way to sell this “Prime Suspect”.

12. How can someone take care of your dogs for a week and you don’t pay them like you said you would, and then don’t even say thank you when returning your keys?  Better call the kennel next time…that’ll be close to free, right?!

13. And lastly, one of my all time favorites…”Just because they make it in your size, doesn’t mean you can wear it!”

Lever 2000 OUT,

Xoxo, Di