I have jokes….lots. Witty banter is one of my specialties and one that I take seriously. Serious like me in a leather catsuit and a whip in Christian Grey’s hand (I will use ANY excuse to reference the culmination of Grey and Jax…ANY). Anyway, today is no exception when it comes to the follies I have witnessed, thought about and said. On with it now…
1. When you make a poster representing your organization in front of thousands of potential customers….let’s spellcheck that shit. Yes, this happened in my presence and I straight up took a picture of it in conjunction with what can only be described as a disturbed giggle. Thennnnn I told someone it needed to be corrected. Whyyyy is this happening??
2. I’ve been told this week that I control people’s thoughts and what they say. Interesting since I don’t remember turning water into wine. Anyway, big ups to Christ!
3. This week I realized the fate of my doom living with three boys. My husband doesn’t really know I call him a boy, because I’m usually calling him a girl…what boy you know likes to shop, watch housewives shows and Glee, lives and breathes karaoke, and wants to decorate all together with me? My favorite kind of boy…make no mistake. He really knows the way to my heart. Anyway…..boys will be boys and the fart game, while hilarious to them, is not what I thought I signed up for.
4. So G and I watched “This Is The End” this past week and apparently it’s a comedy. I just felt dirty after watching it…like soap and water dirty, not Jax/Grey dirty like I had hoped. The apocalyptic alien penis was a lot…and Danny McBride made the movie (“Hermione just stole all our shit!”). But whoever told them to use their real first names really hit the nail on the head. The Seth Rogen and James Franco art struggle bit would have never held up in the movie if they didn’t use their first names. Narcissistic personality disorder at its finest!! I like that….
5. Miley Miley Miley…..your ass looks like a chicken cutlet, you recently had a striking resemblance to Bologna Barb, you are NOT Gene Simmons, you lucky….Paula Patton almost whooped that chicken ass, Liam was thisclose to getting a blinged out grill and foam fingered…whew, Nintendo called…it wants its over indulgent mushrooms back and she twerks hard for the money!! Make it rain Miley!!!
6. Halloween is just around the corner and the costume debacle for everyone is always funny to me. Do you buy them, make them…..the struggle is real people. Usually for me, I hit up the thrift and discount stores first bc I’m a cheap ass and because that’s where you can find the real good shit. Like these for example…I found in our little base thrift store this week:
I am on the lookout for these for G:
This for JD:
And for lil man….
There goes the fart game again…
And lastly….I imagine myself wearing something like this:
First water into wine, now this….I’m THAT impressive people.
In the end…it’s been a great week, follies and farts. This weekend I take the boys camping….and I’m preparing for many blunders, screams and maybe even a spider encounter that will surely bring JD to his knees. Until then, TGIF bitches….
XOXO, Di
Di on Display 